


18. Barely Breathing

by tveckling



Series: Dare to Write challenge [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 17:52:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7693834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tveckling/pseuds/tveckling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The time ticks down, and Clarke is helpless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	18. Barely Breathing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ambrose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ambrose/gifts).



_Three minutes_  
Titus was waiting behind her, silent and mournful. In a corner of her mind Clarke felt she should be furious at him, since he had been the one who caused it all, he had been the one to shoot the gun, but she had no time. Her mind was filled with Lexa, Lexa, Lexa, who was staring up at her with teary eyes and a shaky smile. One that Clarke tried to answer, but she doubted her tries did much.

Tears were running down her cheeks, free and silent and filled with all the feelings she hadn't yet told, feelings she hadn't actually known she had. They fell on the hands that Clarke clutched in her own, as if she could somehow keep Lexa with her if she only held on hard enough. She hadn't cried so hard since her father died, not even when Wells died—sweet, loyal, dear Wells—had she cried like this.

Lexa had tears in her eyes, but so far they hadn't fallen. Was it because she had lived for so long with the knowledge that she might die any moment? Was it because of the promise she had forced Titus to make? Or was she simply stronger than Clarke? She was so strong, so brave, so much more than Clarke had ever imagined when they first met.

 _Two minutes_  
Lexa took a shuddering breath, and Clarke leaned closer. It was too hard for Lexa to gather enough breath to speak, that much was clear, but still she searched for Clarke's eyes and fought, her mouth opening almost desperately. It brought Clarke's attention back to the blood around Lexa's mouth, the blood she had coughed up from a wound Clarke could have done something about if there had only been any tools around that she could used. She had looked; there wasn't.

Clarke bit back another sob and stroked Lexa's face, hushing her as gently she could. It would take too much energy and effort of Lexa to speak, energy she should use to fight, to stay alive. Softly, quietly, Clarke murmured sweet reassurances that meant nothing. She knew it, Lexa knew it, Titus behind them knew it, but Lexa only smiled. She looked so beautiful, and Clarke's tears flowed harder.

 _One minute_  
The hands clutching hers was tightening, and the eyes that stared up into hers were wide. Clarke kept on stroking Lexa's face, kept murmuring those nonsensical words, kept crying. Lexa wouldn't cry, wouldn't let her tears fall, so Clarke would do it for both of them. It was hard getting enough breath to talk, but she wouldn't let her tears stop her, not when the only thing she could do was trying to keep Lexa calm.

What was she thinking, staring so intently with those green eyes? Clarke had known they were beautiful—she had seen them when they were piercing an enemy to the spot, had seen the warmth in them as Lexa looked on the children she cherished so much, had seen the love in them every time Lexa looked at her—but it had never hit her as hard as it did in that moment. They hadn't had enough time for Clarke to get to know them as well as she wanted, since she couldn't even begin to tell what Lexa was feeling. All she saw was the green that seemed to suck her in.

 _Thirty seconds_  
Lexa was gasping, her eyes wider than before, but she kept looking right in Clarke's eyes. She had to be in pain, Clarke knew that purely objectively, she hadn't gotten anything to take the pain away, so she had to be in pain. There was only the tightness of her face, the slight furrow between her eyebrows, the sweat on her brow, that said how much. If it had been Clarke lying there she would have clutched Lexa's hands so hard it would hurt them both, she was sure of that, but it was Lexa down there. Never had she done anything but treat Clarke as gently as she could, and even in their current situation that didn't change. If anyone was clutching the other's hand hard enough to hurt it was Clarke, not Lexa.

There was so much Clarke wanted to say, so many thoughts filling her head, so many promises and wishes and regrets, that she couldn't pick one. If she had only known she would have done differently. If she had known they were only going to have so little time she wouldn't have spent so much of it angry. If she had known she would have Lexa for only one night she would have told her everything she thought, everything that was in her heart. Told her that, in spite of everything that had happened, she didn't regret them.

 _Zero_  
Lexa had a smile on her face when she stopped breathing, the most gentle smile Clarke had seen her wear. A tear finally ran down her temple as she stared blankly ahead, not looking at Clarke anymore. Not looking at anything.

Clarke cried.


End file.
